We were eating scones and drinking tea from pots in the Royal Oak when Alison noticed I had a crucifix on my chain.
‘Maaaa,’ she shouts, ‘what’s that on your neck?’
‘It’s a cross,’ I say, ‘I found it in my mother’s stuff after she died,’
‘You shouldn’t be wearing that,’ she says, and shakes her head ‘oh no!’
‘Why not?’ I say.
‘Well,’ she says, using as many syllables as humanly possible for such a short word, ‘you’re a lesbian, and that’s Jesus!’
‘Al,’ I say, ‘why is it that when you say lesbian you always whisper?’
‘Well, just in case anyone hears it and thinks we’re on a date,’
I laugh at this and then ask her why she also whispered the name Jesus.
‘Well,’ she says, stretching the word like a slingshot, ‘just in case there are any Muslims around.’
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This drawing is titled- You were once mine; my Valentine!
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